Children are spending more time on their devices than ever, and much of that time is on social media platforms such as Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and Snapchat. While social media has many benefits – it’s fun, informative, and offers opportunities for connection – researchers are aware that the time children spend online has a direct effect on their mental health and overall well-being.

For children, due to a critical time in their development, social media use can pose a significant risk to their mental health. It often leads to comparison, seeking validation through likes and comments, cyberbullying, and unrealistic expectations that can take a toll on their mental health.

According to research, spending more than four hours a day online significantly increases a child’s risk of becoming hyperactive and inattentive, and leads to self-esteem issues. Constant notifications, endless scrolling, and dopamine-driven content make it harder for children to focus, think critically, and develop face-to-face relationships.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), there has been a sharp rise in problematic social media use amongst teens in Europe, central Asia, and Canada. Problematic social media use involves addiction-like symptoms, including an inability to control social media usage, experiencing withdrawals when not using it, neglecting other activities in favor of social media, and facing negative consequences in daily life due to excessive use. (Teens, screens and mental health – World Health Organization)

7 RED FLAGS TO LOOK OUT FOR

Here are some of the most common red flags parents should be on the lookout for which could mean that your child has an unhealthy relationship with social media.

1. Excessive social media use

Excessive social media consumption can condition a child’s brain to expect instant gratification, making it difficult for them to tolerate delays, or engage in slower-paced activities like reading or studying. Social media platforms are designed to keep users coming back with features such as push notifications, infinite scrolling, short video clips, likes, and curated feeds. The instant gratification provided by social media triggers the release of dopamine, reinforcing this addictive behavior. Over time, this dependency can lead to reduced attention span in children, poor impulse control, and difficulty in managing real-life emotions.

2. Fear of Missing Out

Does your child have social media FOMO? FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) stems from the perception that others are enjoying experiences, events, or interactions without them. For example, a child might feel left out when they see their classmates hanging out without them. FOMO intensifies anxiety and self-doubt, and fuels compulsive social media checking as children constantly try to stay in the loop.

3. Perfectionism

Does your child agonise over taking the perfect selfie, constantly compare themselves to others, or insist that they only post photos showing their life in the most flattering way possible? Constant exposure to unrealistic, filtered, and staged images can make impressionable children feel inadequate and amplify feelings of not being good enough. This can create a distorted perception of reality, and lead to a variety of emotions and issues, such as envy, resentment, low self-esteem, and body image issues as they compare themselves to idealized images.

Interesting fact

According to studies, social media use appears to cause a decrease in self-esteem, with the group most affected being girls between the ages of 10 and 14.

4. Behavioral changes

Does your child have extreme changes in behavior, such as irritability, sadness, or aggression when not using social media? Emotional turbulence is often one of the first signs that social media is impacting a child’s mental well-being. A child who once handled challenges calmly may suddenly snap when their device is taken away from them. The constant bombardment of fast, dopamine-triggering content rewires emotional responses in children, often replacing patience with frustration. As a result, parents may notice their child becomes increasingly restless, and emotionally unbalanced.

5. Constant need for validation

How much does your child care about the reactions and attention they receive on social media? For example, does your child compulsively check their phone for likes, shares, and comments, often at the expense of real-world interactions and responsibilities? This constant need for validation can create anxiety, especially when posts do not receive the expected level of engagement, and impact their self-esteem and mental health.

6. Isolating from friends, family, and previously enjoyed activities

Is your child spending a lot of time alone and on their phone? Are they cutting off friends and family? Are their hobbies, physical activities, studies, and social interactions taking a backseat to scrolling on social media? Children who are addicted to social media may withdraw from in-person interactions as they increasingly become uncomfortable with face-to-face communication preferring to hide behind a screen, affecting their social skills and leading to feelings of isolation.

7. Disrupted sleep patterns

Is your child using social media late at night or first thing in the morning? Excessive social media use, especially before bedtime, can disrupt sleep patterns in children. The lack of quality sleep can affect their mood, school work, and overall health. It has been associated with increased stress, irritability, and a higher risk of developing mood disorders.

Strategies for parents to help children maintain a healthy relationship with social media

The following tips can help mitigate the negative effects of excessive social media exposure and promote better mental health in children.

Set social media ground rules

Social media use should be limited – not too close to bedtime, and not until after homework and chores have been completed – and monitored based on your child’s age and maturity. This helps prevent social media from interfering with physical activities, sleep, meals, or homework. You also could keep social media off-limits during certain times, for example during family meals and an hour before bedtime.

Set time limits

Set reasonable daily time limits around when and where your child can use social media. Screentime tracking features on your child’s devices allow you to check how many hours a day they are spending on social media apps, and some remind them when it’s time to log off.

Talk to your child about how to navigate social media responsibly

Check in regularly with your child. Talk with them about why using social media responsibly is important. Go through the risks and benefits. If your suspect your child is feeling low, have an honest conversation about how unrealistic social media posts can be. 

Schedule device-free family time

Whether it’s during meals or watching a series together in the evening, have everyone (yes, that includes parents) turn off their devices. Eat dinner together as a family as much as possible, and make a rule that everyone be device-free at the table.

Keep devices out of the bedroom

Keep phones and devices out of your child’s bedroom at night. Make a rule that there are no phones for at least an hour before bedtime. Phones should be charged out of the bedroom to ensure your child is not being interrupted overnight, or tempted to post if they wake up. Keeping phones away from the bed, using night mode to reduce blue light exposure, and setting a digital curfew can significantly improve the quality of your child’s sleep and overall mood.

Set parental controls and monitor activity

Set parental controls so you can monitor your child’s usage and be alerted to such things like cyberbullying, online predators, and depression. You can restrict which apps and websites your child views, as well as setting their social media profiles to private. Regularly review your child’s social media use. Insist on being friends with them on the social media apps they are using. Not only does this give you visibility of how these apps work, but it also makes your child think twice before they post. 

Encourage real-life meetups with peers

Encourage your child to interact more in person by helping facilitate get-togethers, for example hosting their friends at your house or giving your child a lift to somewhere they can hang out in person with their friends.

Encourage physical activities

Making sure your child is active every day not only helps them sleep at night, but it also improves their physical and mental health. Prioritise activities like sports and clubs that make them feel accomplished, to help encourage physical activity and social connection.

Turn on privacy settings on your children’s apps

There are parental control features on most social media apps. These features can help to restrict unknown users from viewing your child’s content and to filter content that is inappropriate. Be mindful of location servers being accessible on apps while being used. This can help keep your teen from sharing personal information.

Increase offline family time

Create opportunities to be offline together as a family. Ideas for family time can include a family board game, puzzles, or baking together.

Set a good example about healthy social media use

Children and teens are more likely to emulate what they see, rather than what they are told. Parents can help by modelling healthy behaviours in their own social media use.

Consider a technology holiday

If you’re worried that social media is taking a toll on your child, consider a technology holiday. Taking periodic breaks from social media, whether for a day, a weekend, or even a week, allows children to reconnect with their surroundings. This helps to reduce stress, improve focus, and enhance emotional resilience in children.

If you’re worried your child has a screen addiction, or you’re concerned about their mental wellbeing and social media use, speak to your doctor for advice.